No one lives their life thinking I can’t wait to get old and move into an assisted living home. But it can be a good end

No one lives their life thinking I can’t wait to get old and move into an assisted living home. There often is considerable resistance before moving in an assisted living home by both the elderly person and the family.

I would like you to know it is not as bad as you think. I would venture to say that most of our residents enjoyed their time at Beach Homes. Yes enjoyed it. In fact I can quote one of my clients when I was asking her if there was anything we could do for her to make her stay better she said “No even though I could go home I would not because I love it here”. That is because most of my clients had previously lived in their own home caring for their self and that is work, a struggle, difficult and scary. When they move in to a good RCFE they have the potential to thrive in a new and stimulating environment. I had another client tell me she enjoyed it because she felt safe. What she meant was there were always people with her so she did not worry about being alone if something bad happened. There can be fear in living alone. There are stories that come to me about things that happen to elderly people alone in their home. Falling, being on the floor for hours, not able to get up, being sick, and not being able to get to a phone to call for help. Loneliness, depression. None of us want this for our parents.

Our families would also say that Beach Homes was a good experience. Many have said “an answer to prayers”. Many families have been very stressed prior to moving their parent. Stressed from worry, stressed from going back and forth to the hospital, stress from trying to work a job and care for their parent at the same time. Stress from trying to talk their parent in to accepting to move from their home. Stress, exhaustion and guilt.

And what they feel one month after the move is complete and their parent has adjusted. Relief.

What I say to the families is “Let us do the work and you enjoy your parent”. And so they do. Their parent has a new life of receiving care. They usually improve in both their health and well being. They enjoy meals with others, play bingo, sing songs, make friendships. They grow in a new life and become a part of a community. They become less dependent on the family, the family is relieved and balance is restored.
I don’t want to over simplify but this is true with the majority of the residents and families that we have served in the past twenty years. Sometimes there are situations and personalities that are more resistant. This usually involves dementia behaviors. We bend over backwards trying for a successful outcome.

I can not express how much I have enjoyed caring for our clients and how grateful I am to have been able to provide this care to our elderly people. I came upon this work as a fluke and it was a great match. I have loved my work. I have a heart for the elderly that I did not know I had. I enjoy them, the good, bad and ugly. It might be my odd sense of humor but they make me laugh. And because they feel that I truly like and enjoy them it has made them very responsive and cooperative to me. Which goes a long way.

What I would like to tell you is that it will be okay. Assisted living is not bad. It is just a change. Hopefully you have chosen well and you are at place where both your family member and you the family have been cared for and supported thru the aging and/or dying process of a loved one. This help and support can make all the difference.