The #1 Biggest Mistake Families Make:
Waiting for a Crisis or Emergency before you get help for your parent.
With good reason many families “opt out” of having that hard conversation with their aging parents. You know the one where you say to your parent you can no longer care for yourself. We so love freedom that we don’t want to take it away. It is a painful conversation even if it is the best thing for your parent. I can tell you from my experience that even though many elderly resist any kind of assistance they adjust quickly and often flourish with increased care, friendships and stimulation.
Looking the other way and avoiding your parents need for increased care is risky. Lack of adequate care will lead to increased hospitalizations and even a death that might have been prevented.
The other day my friend Cathy told me that her mother fell during the night. Her mother told her that it took her four hours to get back in bed. Her mother said she tried a little then rested, tried a little then rested. My friend said mom “why didn’t you call us?!!” Her mom said she was too embarrassed and didn’t want anyone to know. Imagine that. Really stop and think of an 88 year old woman on the floor struggling for four hours in the middle of the night. I don’t know about you but that hurts my heart. This type of incident is not uncommon. Many of our elderly do not have a close support system so they are alone and vulnerable.
We really don’t want to tell our parents what to do. I don’t even want to advise you to tell your parent what to do. It really just goes against the grain. But I have seen and heard enough to say; try to move forward in this conversation. There comes a time when they should not be alone.
When is that time?
Signs that your parent might be at risk:
- Falls
- Inability to take medications correctly
- Inability to safely shower or toilet
- Poor diet, not eating regular meals
- Not drinking enough fluids; dehydration is a common cause of hospitalizations
- Sleeping during the day and active at night
- Frequent hospitalizations
- Memory loss, dementia
